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Life is a dynamic, one day never the same as the last, each moment a new adventure. That's explains my new philosophy. For years, I have relished in the fact that I was the mother to a wonderful daughter with no regrets and complete joy and satisfaction. I have been a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a friend - roles that I have loved and always will. However, I have also been a worker, working for the dollar. No longer! Since the summer of 2013, I have been on a journey to rediscover "Lynnette" and find her passions and where she fits in the world. From here forward in my life, I will be embracing new challenges, finding a career that I'm passionate about, and cherishing each day as if it is my last. This is a blog about my journey. This is a blog about transformation and self-discovery showing that it's never too late to hit the reset button. Please join me on the path... share the journey with me. In addition to my new blogs, I have included some blogs that I'm written previously on a former site I had. I call it my "Best of..." blogs. Feedback is always encouraged and welcome. Enjoy!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Spending the Night with the Dead: Visitation Dreams


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Have you ever had a dream that just seems WAY TOO REAL?  Maybe it wasn't a dream.  Maybe it was a late-night visitor (NOT to be confused with the modern booty-call type of late night visitor - not judging...)

Since household telephones became as commonplace as the bellybutton, my mother, Audrey, had a morning ritual.  She would get up, clean the house and at exactly 9:30, she would take her “coffee break” and start phoning her friends and family to chit-chat.  I have no idea how they found so much to talk about since they were all stay at home moms who didn’t really go far – balloon parenting hadn’t come to be yet. 
NOT my Uncle Earl!!
Not even a close resemblance!

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Every now and then, the morning conversations would start with Mom saying:

“Well, I spent the night with the dead again last night.” 

This meant that mom had dreamed about her loved ones who had passed on.  Her dreams were usually as weird as the ones you and I have.  One of her dreams was something like Lawrence being up on the roof and Earl was playing the banjo in the outhouse.  We all shared some laughs over some of her dreams.  

But there were some other dreams that she would speak about more seriously.  Sometimes, she would talk about the details of these dreams and her eyes would well up with tears.  I knew these dreams were much different than the ones with her brothers on roofs and in outhouses with banjos. She would speak about these very detailed dreams for years to come.


I know now, and I guess I knew then, that Mom didn’t believe these were just dreams.  Her solemn demeanor convinced me that she knew that there was something more to this.  I think some people who have the same experiences would prefer to believe these are "only dreams" as it is easier than accepting  the dead entering our minds while we're asleep. (Insert Freddy Kreuger theme).


You're thinking:  "we’ve all had dreams that seem so realistic that you think you are right there in the moment!!"  Like the other night, when I dreamed of being at a mall in Sri Lanka where I met some members of Duran Duran (my undying fantasy).  I was buying melons, and I was quite upset that nobody was around to take the picture of me getting a kiss from Simon and John.  I think Freddy Mercury was there buying a t-shirt too.  It seemed so real!!  The colors... the smells... the touch!!! Then I woke up - all disappointed.  (Who wouldn’t? – said every 1980’s teen girl).


But the dreams to which I am referring, are more than just realistic.  Often called “Visitation Dreams”, they are more vivid than any dream you have ever had.  Unlike regular dreams, you will usually remember the details for years, if not your entire life.  The loved one who “visits” speaks very clearly without any dreamlike confusion.  For example, where in some dreams, a loved one may be talking about knitting a scarf for a helicopter, which makes no sense, in a Visitation Dream, the loved one will make absolute sense without ambiguity.  Although conversations can occur in these dreams, it is most common that you only receive a simple message.  Having said that, the visitor may not speak verbally, they may just stand there, or give you a message telepathically.  Regardless, they will always be happy, peaceful, and healthy.  And when you wake up, you are not confused about what kind of dream it was.  You KNOW what just happened.  If you have to guess whether it was a visit or not, it wasn’t.  These dreams are VERY distinct.  It’s like when we were young and asked what love was and we were told: “it can’t be explained, but when you fall in love with someone, you will just KNOW!”  

This is similar to what I experienced but MUCH whiter.
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My first visitation dream happened in my teens when I was very confused and lost.  My father died at 64 from heart failure, when I was a vulnerable 15 years old.  He’d had a stroke ten years previously which left him as a paraplegic and wheelchair bound.  In my “dream", he appeared to be in his 30’s, tall, healthy, and walking.  He smiled at me and took me by the hand.  We were not anywhere… it’s almost like we were just in a limbo state of white.  The only words I remember him saying were: “I am always here with you.  You will be ok.  You will never be alone.”  That’s it.  The rest of what seemed like an eternity of holding his hand was silent until he said “I have to go now.  I love you.  I will always be with you.”  And I woke up.  When I woke up it was so different than any other dream I’ve had.  Peace.  I felt peace.  Then I cried.  I knew this was unexplainable and nobody would believe me.  I never told anyone for many, many years. 

I have dreamed of my father a kijillion times since he has passed, but none of them parallel the “visit” vis-à-vis the intensity of realism or clarity of detail. 

Many people are going to read this and call “bogus” on the whole concept.  After all, it was, by common definition, just a dream.  People will argue that it was my then-current emotional state which triggered the subconscious “superhighway” to elicit psychological imagery and provide the solace that I subconsciously knew was necessary to reduce my emotional pain.  Trust me, I’ve heard all the psycho-babble as to why certain paranormal phenomena occur.   By no means can I disprove any argument you have refuting the existence of “Dream Visitations”, nor would I attempt to out of pure respect for your opinions.  However, contrarily there is no validity to claims against such theory either. 

I believe in Dream Visitations.  I’ve experienced them.  And now, instead of “going retro” by getting on a telephone to chit-chat with friends and family about spending the night with the dead, I will do the 21st century equivalent and post this blog.

Sweet dreams.

Good Night Sweet Dreams
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