About Me

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Life is a dynamic, one day never the same as the last, each moment a new adventure. That's explains my new philosophy. For years, I have relished in the fact that I was the mother to a wonderful daughter with no regrets and complete joy and satisfaction. I have been a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a friend - roles that I have loved and always will. However, I have also been a worker, working for the dollar. No longer! Since the summer of 2013, I have been on a journey to rediscover "Lynnette" and find her passions and where she fits in the world. From here forward in my life, I will be embracing new challenges, finding a career that I'm passionate about, and cherishing each day as if it is my last. This is a blog about my journey. This is a blog about transformation and self-discovery showing that it's never too late to hit the reset button. Please join me on the path... share the journey with me. In addition to my new blogs, I have included some blogs that I'm written previously on a former site I had. I call it my "Best of..." blogs. Feedback is always encouraged and welcome. Enjoy!

Friday, July 10, 2015

Loneliness - Feeding the Demons

A friend shared this with me and gave me permission to post this.  I found it interesting.  Maybe you will too.
https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8367/8446083573_b17a07d253_b.jA frien
Loneliness floods the gates and leaves me alone with no escape except to drown in my own mind.

I speak and the walls, although not deaf, are mute.  The dark spirits encompass me, with their long ecru fingernails prying at my skin trying to enter the blackness of my mind – their winner’s circle.

As I reach out, my voice is silenced by the sounds of the ramblings of others far more important than myself.  Those who believe my openness is an automatic door to “listen to me”, “my kid did this”, and “you’ll never believe what <insert spouse’s name here> did”. 

How is this ok?  How do I justify this? 

http://zillawarriors.deviantart.com
/art/Shadow-Demon-533789920
It takes two to be lonely, one that needs to speak and one that needs to be heard.  Currently, if I am the listener, then one of the two is no longer alone and she is being heard.  I take her loneliness away.  With their fuel to survival subsiding, her demons flee… she feels freer, she feels loved, she feels … loved.   She feels like someone cares about her.  

Whereas me… well, I tell myself that I am stronger than she was.  I can handle it.  My demons feeding from my loneliness keep scratching and clawing.  The nerves to my skin are numb.  I no longer feel.  Their white eyes, white piercing pupil-less eyes, the only light within their midnight black silky shadows, their eyes… hypnotically drill into my soul. 

It’s a faceoff.  An eternal face off…
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